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Heretic 2024
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
…all that just to shank?!
hearing Hugh Grant meow was oddly arousing
watching this in utah was the 4D experience
Hugh Grant was the equivalent of Ben Shapiro if Ben Shapiro was an atheist who liked Radiohead, mansplaining, and monopoly
Very similar vibes to don’t breathe, lost momentum towards the end of the film and became a mumbo jumbo of women in cages getting their fingers chopped off
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The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare 2024
HOLY HELL THIS MOVIE WAS INCREDIBLE. SIMPLY AND ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. I’m a sucker for all things WWII but THIS film perfectly displayed the utter mayhem and chaos a rouge group of individuals could create when not bound by aristocrats. Bravo good sir, BRAVO. This film made me giddy with anticipation and excitement, I genuinely loved every second. The intense battles, which were dripping with meticulous planning and astute foresight from the band of misfits, allowed for the formation of a…
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Challengers 2024
Respectfully your honor, Zendaya ate. And by ate I mean served. And by served I mean served two sexy twinks up on a platter and delivered one of the most chaotically gay movies in cinema history. My inner voice was screaming “Wait a minute this isn’t tennis! This is gay anal sex!” My boner was a mile high, and that’s not an exaggeration. I had to manually remind myself to breathe. How can a movie portray so much yet at…
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Dune: Part Two 2024
I simply cannot stop thinking about this movie. I loved it so much that after seeing it the first time I miraculously found myself back in theaters less than 48 hours later surrendering another 3 hours of my life to bask in the glory of Dune: Part Two. Timothy Chalamaboop has made his dramatic emergence from Twink Timmy to Daddy Tim. I could sit back and watch Daddy Tim burn civilization after civilization to the ground and never once lose…
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