Christian Kaess

Christian Kaess Pro

He/Him - 25
Horror enthusiast, always afraid
Holler if ya hear me!

Favorite films

  • Blow Out
  • Scream
  • The Thing
  • Memento

Recent activity

All
  • Commando

    ★★★½

  • Heretic

    ★★★½

  • A Real Pain

    ★★★★½

  • The Boy and the Heron

    ★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Commando

    Commando

    ★★★½

    Quite possibly one of the greatest comedies of all time.

  • Heretic

    Heretic

    ★★★½

    Absolutely terrifying how unbelievably charming Hugh Grant is in this. He could convince me to join any religion. If he asked me to kill myself I'd ask him "How do you want me to?"

Popular reviews

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  • The Iron Claw

    The Iron Claw

    ★★★★½

    I know hell exists because Fritz Von Erich had to go somewhere when he died.

    As a true wrestling fan I took my girlfriend to see this and told her NOTHING about them. Even wore a Kerry Von Erich shirt I owned too, she was not prepared for what was in store. Multiple tissues were needed. The fucked up part is, the movie isn't even as heartbreaking as their actual stories are. There is deadass a whole other brother who…

  • Longlegs

    Longlegs

    ★★★★

    Your arms may be too short to box with God, but your legs are long enough to play with the Devil.

    I don't think this is the "crying, screaming, throwing up" evil incarnate film that Twitter made it out to be, but whatever this film is absolutely kicked ass. One of those rare films where I want to go back and watch it again immediately. Going to be counting the days for this one to get a physical release.

    Don't…

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