calebvan

calebvan

Favorite films

  • Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack
  • Spider-Man 2
  • Malignant
  • The Babadook

Recent activity

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  • The Electric State

  • Resident Evil

  • The Gorge

  • Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging

Recent reviews

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  • The Electric State

    The Electric State

    There’s a scene in this movie where Chris Pratt says “hit it!” and a piano robot starts playing an epic orchestral version of don’t stop believing. It got me thinking, maybe we should just put a pause on all blockbuster filmmaking for a few years. Like we can give it another go in a decade or so, but we gotta give it a rest for a little while.

  • Resident Evil

    Resident Evil

    A y2k Aliens with a Marilyn Manson soundtrack. Lots of fun, but could’ve been something really special if the characters were a bit more interesting.

Popular reviews

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  • Trap

    Trap

    ★★★

    The best part of this movie is that the bar I work at got a whole ass cameo. Long live the Ivy Arms!

  • Argylle

    Argylle

    ½

    I felt like I was experiencing a fever dream during the third act, like I was having an actual psychotic episode. At a certain point my body just started reacting physically to the second hand embarrassment. I began burying my head in my hands and pulling at my hair. I couldn’t tell if I was weeping, laughing, or dying. This couldn’t be real. It simply couldn’t exist, but somehow there it was. Argylle staring back at me. A monument to…