Caelan Elsey

Caelan Elsey

Look on my criticisms of works, ye mighty, and despair!

Favorite films

  • Hot Fuzz
  • Spider-Man 2
  • La La Land
  • Under the Skin

Recent activity

All
  • Adolescence

    ★★★★

  • Mickey 17

    ★★★½

  • The Monkey

    ★★★

  • Captain America: Brave New World

    ★★★

Recent reviews

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  • The Monkey

    The Monkey

    ★★★

    Better than longlegs I said it

  • Captain America: Brave New World

    Captain America: Brave New World

    ★★★

    “Brave” and “new” are two bizarre choices for this film’s title considering it’s actually largely same old same old and risk adverse. 

    Visually greyer than a moat you’d drown to death in and with a little bit of the “pieced together in the edit” feel to it (with that said, considering how heavily this was apparently rewritten and reshot, it’s surprisingly a little bit more coherent than I expected), it’s somehow still better than a fair chunk of Marvel’s recent…

Popular reviews

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  • Black Mirror: Demon 79

    Black Mirror: Demon 79

    ★★★★½

    You know the thing I liked the most about this season? It’s the thing everyone online actually appears to hate the most about it. Charlie Brooker clearly got sick of writing the same old “wot if yer mum was trapped inside yer phone” kind of stories (many of which I really enjoy, don’t take that as a knock on the show) that he had been, so he just said fuck it and started writing whatever he wanted, the focus on…

  • The Invitation

    The Invitation

    ½

    Hits all the cliches, doesn’t have an original bone in its body, fails to build a sense of dread or tension at any point, goes for all the cheapest lame scares imaginable, looks and sounds like fucking shit. God awful.