I'm a comedian but I am going to do sincere reviews on here, because I need one place to be sincere in my life, okay?
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The Substance 2024
The first half made me horny. The second half punished me for being horny.
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Alien: Romulus 2024
The third act of this movie was relentless. I saw it a few days after The Substance, and I can't tell which director hated me more. At what point do we say, "I have given you my money and my time; why are you putting me through this?" All that being said, this was a legitimate roller coaster ride, and I had fun. It's incredible how much mileage a franchise can get from the premise: people stuck on ship with roundheaded aliens.
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It Cuts Deep 2020
I'm also in this movie and think that it's amazing. I HIGHLY SUGGEST seeing it when it comes out on VOD on Nov. 13th. It's funny, scary, and will make you horny. One fun behind the scenes tidbit is that JOHN ANDERSON, the actor who plays Nolan in the film, would often spy on the cast and crew from just outside their rooms. I caught him once in the bushes beside my bathroom window. He claimed he was "birdwatching" but…
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Gilda 1946
put the blame on...ME for loving this movie. I'd seen it before but now it's in the Critierion "Queer Sighted" Collection as a kind of bisexual throuple, Challengers-y, thingee, and I got to say, I BOUGHT IT! Very fun to see Rita Hayworth make one of the greatest entrances in movie history.
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