Because I critique books, that means I think I can do movies too
(Also, I think I'm better than other people)
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Glass Onion 2022
ONE THUMB UP
[A billionaire hosts a murder-mystery party for his fake friends.]
It's fun to watch puzzle pieces come together. Sometimes though, you're watching a movie like this and we're putting the 30th piece into place and it's all a little too pert and kooky.
Politically, the fact that a leftist small-state governor and a Men's Rights activist are pal-ing around on a tech billionaire's island should have some purchase. It doesn't. The eventual defanging of said billionaire likewise…
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Fly Me to the Moon 2024
TWO THUMBS DOWN
[1969 NASA hires a political consultant to sex up their image.]
Utterly bizarre. Nothing about the [redacted] fake moon-landing stuff made sense, unless the U.S. government is trying to meme a general audience with reverse psychology by being like, "Well, we didn't fake it, but it wouldn't be a big deal if we did." Idk.
All that aside, Hollywood only does period pieces as a way to let costume designers have a field day. And hoo-boy, did…
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Die Hard 1988
ONE THUMB DOWN
[New York cop must save a bunch of West Coast ninnies from terrorism.]
Supposed to be a classic piece of brainless fun but is mostly just brainless.
Features surprisingly broad-sweeping cultural pastiche that all falls flat, a distant second to the explosions and gunshots. Why? Because at its core it's "Conservative" humor. We get kneejerk reactions making fun of things that are different w/o much care paid to the larger context.
My favorite subplot is the one about the LAPD cop that shot a thirteen year old child and gets his mojo back by shooting someone else.
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The Lost City 2022
ONE THUMB UP!
[Woman writer is abducted into her own jungle fantasy.]
What you learn from The Lost City is that sometimes comedy just needs a little space. Coupled with some passable chemistry from Tatum and Bullock, those little laughs and romantic moments find room on the runway to land.
Also, while mostly conventional, the movie delivers a few thinkers in unexpected places.
Lastly, you have to put your worst actor in the villain role. There, they can ham it up and fumble lines and not only will it not matter, but it will actually work out to everyone's benefit.
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