🍅-certified film critic. Lover of all types of films, but especially horror. I only log things I’m seeing for the first time.
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The Substance 2024
The c*nty yellow overcoat almost pushed this to a perfect 5/5 for me.
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The Black Phone 2021
Town police: Who could be taking these kids?
Weird guy dressed like the goth version of the mad hatter, skulking around, in broad daylight, in his black “Abracadabra” van with no party-hosting info on it: *asks kids if they wanna see magic tricks before kidnapping them in clear view of 78 houses and releasing giant bundle of black balloons*
Town police: We have absolutely no clue.
Town police: Let’s consult our local 9-year-old.
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