fine... perhaps i will watch a little movie...
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The Substance 2024
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
deeply triggering and upsetting. i had to take a day or two to calm down and i will never watch it again. i relate severely to cronenberg carrie and her inevitable self destruction. everything went a lil too off the rails for me just before the resolution - it stopped twisting the knife for me there. made it easier for me to sleep at night at least.
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C.H.U.D. 1984
possibly the grimiest movie ever, it actually casts shame on new york. this production's prop department was very proud of their chud gloves. actually i waited basically the entire runtime for someone to say "chud" and it only came out after someone read it on a box near the end. kind of bad as a movie but it was so terminally 80s it ended up being a fun watch
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Memoir of a Snail 2024
contains the correct quantity of snails. the black humor, unpulled emotional punches, and abundant dramatic irony were quite delicious and satisfying. everyone from the visual artists to the writers to the director were clearly exorcising some demons in the process of making this. overall, memoir of a snail made me feel seen.
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New Year Adventures of Masha and Vitya 1975
1 star if it was just the child actors proving that we should not have child actors for the entire runtime. 5 stars if it was just baba yaga, leshy, and the wild cat shitting on the beatles and serving bountiful storybook cunt. bonus points for this movie somehow having a distinct "so underfunded it's irreverent" tone i have only seen in deathstalker ii before this lmao
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