crispy lazybones

crispy lazybones

fine... perhaps i will watch a little movie...

Favorite films

  • Contact
  • Deathstalker II
  • Submarine
  • Death Becomes Her

Recent activity

All
  • The Substance

    ★★★★½

  • C.H.U.D.

    ★★½

  • Slums of Beverly Hills

    ★★★

  • The Brady Bunch Movie

    ★★★

Recent reviews

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  • The Substance

    The Substance

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

  • C.H.U.D.

    C.H.U.D.

    ★★½

    possibly the grimiest movie ever, it actually casts shame on new york. this production's prop department was very proud of their chud gloves. actually i waited basically the entire runtime for someone to say "chud" and it only came out after someone read it on a box near the end. kind of bad as a movie but it was so terminally 80s it ended up being a fun watch

Popular reviews

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  • Memoir of a Snail

    Memoir of a Snail

    ★★★★

    contains the correct quantity of snails. the black humor, unpulled emotional punches, and abundant dramatic irony were quite delicious and satisfying. everyone from the visual artists to the writers to the director were clearly exorcising some demons in the process of making this. overall, memoir of a snail made me feel seen.

  • New Year Adventures of Masha and Vitya

    New Year Adventures of Masha and Vitya

    ★★★★

    1 star if it was just the child actors proving that we should not have child actors for the entire runtime. 5 stars if it was just baba yaga, leshy, and the wild cat shitting on the beatles and serving bountiful storybook cunt. bonus points for this movie somehow having a distinct "so underfunded it's irreverent" tone i have only seen in deathstalker ii before this lmao

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