I considered I might be grading this on a generous "they don't make 'em like this anymore" curve but my conclusion was that's fine, I can do that.

I'm invested in these characters—which feels silly to say but I am bothering to watch movie #10—but they're giving me nothing here. None of the banter or camaraderie that's supposedly happening between members of the regular FF crew lands AT ALL. Nobody but the villain (and Cena, who only ever interacts with a kid) displays any charisma whatsoever.

I was amused that "The Agency" makes use of the room from Tim and Eric's Celery Man sketch, only more fake looking.

IT'S BEEN

There are sequences in here that I thought were pretty cool but overall I needed more contrast, more variance, and more than just one austere mode for the full two hours. Without a bit of momentum or variation somewhere the cute little visual poems get tiresome: so while on paper I really like the way the movie ends (well, not the VERY end, but the final chapter)—actually watching it I felt very little.