There is but one thing I fear in this world: Robots.

Let’s not get it twisted, I’m no luddite. I have three iPhones, two Roombas, and a Boston Dynamics engineered dog like every other red-blooded American. However, when I see the human form twisted into a metallic rusty counterpart, it makes my skin crawl. Bolts and gears do not a human make. I don’t want to picture a Shape of Water (2017) remake with a human and a robot that…

All Quiet on the Western Front bedazzled me with epic action scenes and harrowing drama, sending a chilling reminder to us all that war is bad.
Contrary to popular belief, I am not German. Yes, my dear readers, I am pure all-American, all the way down to my great-grandfather Johannes Bröcht, who set foot on Ellis Island in 1967. You thusly won’t be surprised to find that I don’t speak German, and in line with my long-standing refusal to read…

If you give Michael Bay a drone, he'll want to use it. If he wants to use a drone, he'll want to get some cool shots. If he gets some cool shots, he'll want to show them off. If he wants to show them off, he'll want to make a movie. If he wants to make a movie, he'll need actors. If he needs actors, he might hire Jake Gylanhaal. If he hires Jake Gylanhaal, there will be a lot…