Recent reviews

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  The Patriot 1998

  ★★½ Watched 30 Jan 2025

  Q: What do you call a pony riding a man that is riding a horse?
  A: I don’t gamble with my little girl’s heart. 

  I expected extreme cheese and got moderate cheese.

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  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1990

  ★★★½ Watched 08 Jan 2025

  Some lines that stood out:

  - Nobody understands cricket. You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket. 
  - Child 1: anything you guys want, we got it. Anything you want to do, do it. You know what I’m saying?
  Child 2: You got any cigarettes?
  - It’s a kodak moment
  - Child: I need a cigar
  - God I love being a turtle

Popular reviews

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  Hero 2002

  ★★★★ Watched 10 Apr 2024 2

  Very pretty, cool wuxia kung fu scenes. I want a 10 foot sword character scroll.

• 

  The Beastmaster 1982

  ★★★★ Watched 02 Jan 2025

  Very enjoyable. Checks off a lot of the classic tropes for this style of movie, but seems to take itself just seriously enough that it doesn’t just make me roll my eyes the whole time. Several moments that were so ridiculous I had to laugh out loud.

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