EyesCumShut

EyesCumShut

Favorite films

  • Food
  • Burger
  • Sandwich
  • Spaghetti

Recent activity

All
  • The Substance

    ★½

  • Paint Drying

  • Kinds of Kindness

    ½

  • Ratatouille

    ★½

Recent reviews

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  • The Substance

    The Substance

    ★½

    THE SUBTANXS MOTE LIKES THE CRUMSTANCE 🤣

    Only jokes guys. I thought this was some bitch loving bullshit, sure I love a good body horror cause WOWZA IM A FREAK FOR THAT 🤣 but I feel like we shouldn’t be glorifying drug use bullshit

    WOULDNT SHOW MY BITCH ASS SON YHIS PPEICE OF SHIT LMAOOOOOOO 🤣🤣🤣

    Drug drug drug. I do appreciate female leads but it low key high key reminds me of my ex wife and FUCK THATTT BITCHHH…

  • Paint Drying

    Paint Drying

    My loyal fans, I’m here with an update of my life.

    I’ve recently introduced my stupid fuckin son to the culinary arts, talk about a failure 🤣 my boy can’t even properly cook an egg. For context the boy is 7, when I was 7 I was sous chef for a Michelin star restaurant… YOU KNOW WHY? Because I worked on my craft, unlike my son. His idea of fun is doomscrolling on TikTok and playing a screen game or…

Popular reviews

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  • Dune: Part Two

    Dune: Part Two

    ½

    Haven’t even seen this but it’s probably the same shitty ass world war 2 British people slop that Denis makes. The FUCKING nerve to name something “spice” WHEN THE WRITERS PROBABLY HAVE NEVER BEEN TO CULINARY SCHOOL BEFORE. I have a mental list of all the spices that I love and the writers probably don’t know anything about them, I guarantee you I know more about food and how to cook a fine caviar better than the fucking writers. They…

  • Kinds of Kindness

    Kinds of Kindness

    ½

    Kinds of kindness MORE LIKE KINFS OF BITCHINESS FUCKMOVIE WHAT IS THIS EVEN???

    I took my 12 year old son who is very educated in literature and EVEN HE THOUGHTF IT WAS FUCKINNNN liberalist idealist fuckinnn stupid ass shit

    Sorry fans for straying away from my food talk but I’ve been getting really into neo politics and hate speech raids (teaching my boy lol 😂)

    Quick update on my son by the way viewers, he is doing good in school and his uncle Charlie is picking him up from school so I can day drink 🙈

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