Favorite films

Recent reviews

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  Edward Scissorhands 1990

  ★★★★★ Rewatched 19 Mar 2025

  Oh hello little supernatural fairytale homunculus, my awkward pixie dream goth. Caress me, sculpt my front yard bushes, and liberate my hairy puppy with your delicate razor fingers you adorable fucking leather demon. You set my sish kebab on fire with your terrified expression and your baggy Charlie Chaplin attire. Aren’t you lonely, my misunderstood monster, my Robert-Smith-haired prince of darkness? Don’t you want to puncture my throbbing waterbed and then murder my asshole boyfriend with your long shiny blades…

• 

  Eraserhead 1977

  ★★★★ Watched 13 Mar 2025

  Why are her cheeks? How is happening? Who is hair?

  Help!

  Help me.

Popular reviews

• 

  Heart Eyes 2025

  ★★★ Watched 19 Feb 2025

  This movie operates on the Scream franchise rules where a masked psycho killer is so famous that it’s somehow very common for regular people to dress up like the psycho killer for fun.

  We don’t do that in our world. Yes, we dress up as fictional psychos like the Joker and Michael Myers and Darth Vader, but you don’t often see folks dressed like Ted Bundy or Jeffery Dahmer or the Golden State Killer. Is it because we have morals…

• 

  Nosferatu 2024

  ★★★★ Watched 26 Dec 2024

  Pretty long! Count Orlok’s dong, that is. The movie is also over two hours.

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