Nick is haunted by night terrors stemming from a tragic murder he saw when he was young. After inheriting an old toy shop, he discovers a cursed elf doll sealed inside an ancient chest with a naughty list of his family's names written on it. He soon discovers that the elf was an evil conduit meant to unleash a supernatural killing spree during the Christmas Holidays by whomever set it free.
USA
Fantastic Fest
Costa Rica
France
Jamaica
Mexico
Armenia
Venezuela
South Korea12
Spain
Estonia
USAR
UK
Armenia
Costa Rica
Estonia
France
Jamaica
Mexico
South Korea
Spain
UK
USA
Venezuela
Dear Uncork’d Entertainment,
Hate you, mean it.
Love & Hugz,
Me
My decision making has been woeful this evening. Krampus Origins followed by this. I'm off to have a word with myself.
Leave this elf on the shelf.
The poster made me assume this might be a cheap Chucky knock off, with some laughs and gore. Nope. It's a low budget, boring and badly acted holiday horror. Full of long, lingering shots that felt like filler to pad the running time. The elf is not scary, the actors are scarier in their attempts to act. The score was kinda okay though.
Honestly one of the worst films I have ever seen. The camerawork is constantly refocusing and you can almost never see any characters faces for an extended period of time. The characters are terribly written and the plot revolves around a woman just being completely awful to her fiance because he had a traumatic experience during Christmas.
The music is incoherent, and makes absolutely no sense for the film. In addition, every single track has so much droning I could swear I was listening to planes land. The acting is the worst I have seen in quite a while, and as each line is delivered, the quality deteriorates further. It doesn't help that this movie is also utterly boring in every way. 90 minutes drags on for millennia and I have been suffering for years now.
I’m gonna fucking kill myself 🤣
The Elf (2016) is a movie I recently watched on Tubi. It tells the story of a young man who inherits a toy shop. Hidden deep in the back of the shop is a sealed chest that he and his girlfriend decide to open. Inside, they find an old doll and paperwork warning of its dangers. Ignoring the warning, they continue restoring the shop—unaware that the doll comes to life as an elf and begins a deadly killing spree.
Directed by Justin Price (Forsaken), the film stars Natassia Halabi (Born to Be Blue), Lassiter Holmes (Alita: Battle Angel), Les Best (Derelicts), Alicia Rubio (Hit), and Pat Turner (Nana’s Secret Recipe).
While the storyline had potential, the execution fell flat. The…
Only gets 1/2 star because I can't give it a 0 on here. This movie is 90 minutes of my life I will never get back.
Killer doll movies are all the rage, especially with that new Child's Play movie that I'm sure one person is still talking about (fess up). Yet, labeling those as Christmas movies can only qualify as a technicality (there's Christmas lights in one scene in the remake I think), so my venture into that franchise will have to wait for another day. However, the perfect (and by that I mean only) Christmas killer doll movie comes to us in the form of The Elf, a very dumb, very boring movie. Directed by Justin Price, whose filmography consists of the type of movies you'd see at the $1 dollar bin (assuming of course that they already hadn't been thrown away), this languid…
The leading lady kept losing her fake American accent and slipping into her native Australian accent. Also, her collagen-injected lips were freakishly distracting. The leading man was pretty much just there. The guy playing the father was the least fatherly person I've ever seen in a movie. As another reviewer said, not normal responses to horror or things that are happening around you. The pacing was slow and the filler could have been cut down to knock 15-20 minutes off the run time. It was a good premise but failed to deliver.
I've seen kidney stones move faster than this movie. Like holy shit you guys have to see how slow this is. It's amazing to me that you could get a whole crew together, rent the equipment, scout locations, get your shitty friends to "act," etc., and never bother to Google "pacing", "tension" or "how to make a movie."
It's been awhile since I've given a movie half a star, but this one definitely deserves it. There had to have been major rewrites because the "actors" appeared to be following different stories scene by scene. And Jesus, every scene with the family I was thinking they had to have just brought them on set with zero experience because every line they read was excruciating.
Every actor in this was godawful but the Dale Doback award goes to Gabriel Miller, the person who played Nick.
"I'm going to get my own special bottle... and it ain't from no damn Greenland either!"
THE ELF (2017)
"Nick is haunted by night terrors stemming from a tragic murder he saw when he was young. After inheriting an old toy shop, he discovers a cursed elf doll sealed inside an ancient chest with a naughty list of his family's names written on it. He soon discovers that the elf was an evil conduit meant to unleash a supernatural killing spree during the Christmas Holidays by whomever set it free."
I will give credit where credit's due. The movie does have some (I stress some) sharp cinematography in certain scenes. I also think some of the Christmas themed atmosphere is nice. That's really it. This lame elf-curse supernatural slasher honestly bored me nearly to sleep. I…
