Favorite films

Recent reviews

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  The Fly 1986

  ★★★★ Watched 17 Mar 2025

  Inject this movie straight into my veins. ’80s Jeff Goldblum, disgusting body horror, and deep sci-fi—that is my shiiiiit. The Substance definitely took notes from this, and honestly, I’ll never look at a fly (or my own skin) the same way again.

  4/5 bags of popcorn, slowly dissolving in bile.

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  Mickey 17 2025

  ★★★ Watched 17 Mar 2025

  Mickey 17 looks incredible and the acting is solid, but it just doesn’t click. Pattinson’s voice sounds like a cartoon villain trying to return a rental car, the references are a little too on the nose, and the plot is both too long and too short—like they cut the wrong scenes. Cool concept, messy execution. 3/5 bags of popcorn, no buttah.

Popular reviews

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  The Whale 2022

  ★★½ Watched 21 Jan 2025

  I’m not fat-phobic, but I might be phobic of movies like this. 2.5/5 stars. Loved you in George of the Jungle, Brendan.

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  The Substance 2024

  ★★★★ Watched 17 Jan 2025

  I went into this movie completely blind, catching it in theaters with my wife, and wow—what a ride.

  It starts off as a slow burn, delivering exactly what you’d expect based on the promotional material: a sharp critique of beauty standards and the relentless grind of the entertainment industry, particularly for aging stars.

  But when it hits—and you’ll know when it does—this movie goes absolutely balls to the wall. The practical effects are incredible, and as someone who loves body…