Not doing stars. Gonna be some run on sentences in here. May be extremely tryhard-verbose or extremely shitpost-flippant at my discretion.
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Willy's Wonderland 2021
He did not have to be doing that shit with the pinball machine
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Saw VI 2009
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
When I was a little kid, my mom told me something I'll never forget. She said, "Wherever your life takes you, sweetie, I want you to always remember never to become the kind of person whose grisly death in an elaborate trap gets overwhelming cheers." It was on that day I decided not to become a health insurance risk assessor. It's inevitable that as a horror franchise gets too long audiences will develop affinity for the villain, out of familiarity…
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Saw IV 2007
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
If saw III was when the series became about itself in the sense that it was enamored with its own mythology, this is the movie is where the series' continuity started eating its own tail. My friend compared it to a soap opera where you're just there to watch the forever drama unfold (and I get it-that's about how I feel about friday the 13th, my slasher forever-franchise of choice) and this feels where it really crystallizes into that. Big…
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The Rocky Horror Picture Show 1975
When I was in college there was a screening of rocky horror on campus put on by some student organization or another. It was supposed to be the whole shebang with all the rituals and whatnot but no one had actually been to a showing before so it was just kind of a bunch of drunk sorority sisters shouting random stuff at the screen and giving me weird looks when I did the traditional callbacks I'd looked up online beforehand. I was a fucking loser in college. Probably still am.
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