If it's extremely violent or stupid, I'm in.
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The Blade Master 1982
Very conveniently, the first movie is speed-reviewed so you don't even need to watch it to understand this one. However, this thing is...all over the place. A hastily made Conan the Barbarian ripoff with not a lot going for it.
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Blood Feast 1963
This must have absolutely blown people's minds in '63 but man is it cheesy as hell now. Also basically the reason we have Blood Diner, so there's that.
The music is bizarre as hell, Ramses's eyebrows are the most terrifying part about him, it's just a mess (pun intended).
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The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim 2024
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Absolutely outstanding that, for all the heroic deaths featured in this franchise, Frekka gets punched in the face and immediately dies.
Wulf's motivations are essentially avenging his father and being a dipshit incel. You get A SINGLE flashback depicting his relationship with Hera, which...intersperse them throughout the damn thing! What are you even doing?
Brian Cox sells Helm, but man...this thing is instantly forgettable. The animation is wonky (the fire effects are awful), and the connections to other LOTR lore…
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