I studied film but I all I learned was how to bullshit
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Dog Soldiers 2002
By FAR the worst five star film I’ve ever watched. This film is horror schlock that flirts with greatness so often I swear it must be on purpose. Watched the entire 90 second credits roll and wished there was more just so I could stay longer.
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The Program 2015
Gotta be one of the most nothing movies I’ve ever watched. Just a bag of air. Boy.
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Everything Everywhere All at Once 2022
The best part was when it ripped off Wong Kar-Wai, the second best part was when it turned its characters into rocks so they would shut the fuck up for five minutes. Dialogue was so predictable and pedestrian it took me two tries to finish it. Felt like it was written in 2012's "random equals funny" era. "eVeRYtHinG bAGeL" shut the fuck up, ugh.
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Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga 2024
Ate my entire large popcorn before Anya Taylor Joy even got on screen. Not really a complaint or anything I’m just like damn
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