heavymachinery

heavymachinery

Favorite films

  • Portrait of a Lady on Fire
  • Shaun of the Dead
  • Suspiria
  • In Bruges

Recent activity

All
  • Five Nights at Freddy's

    ★★

  • Mandy

    ★★★★

  • (500) Days of Summer

    ★★★½

  • Talk to Me

    ★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Five Nights at Freddy's

    Five Nights at Freddy's

    ★★

    hes not even purple! he’s just a normal looking dude in a golden bunny costume!

    (boring, predictable, not scary, no blood, the animatronics look silly (although they were always gonna), acting is shit apart from like two people. 

    the soundtrack was decent, the set design was quite good and the animatronics were well mad and looked real but silly.)

  • Mandy

    Mandy

    ★★★★

    Nicholas cage embarks on a technicolour revenge massacre against some drug fuelled machinery men on bikes and some Christian hippies

Popular reviews

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  • Barbie

    Barbie

    ★★★★½

    ATTENTION ALL HEAVYMACHINERY LETTERBOXD FOLLOWERS, IT APPEARS I HAVE MISTAKENLY THOUGHT BILLIE EILLISH WAS PHOEBE BRIDGERS IN MY PREVIOUS REVIEW, IM DEEPLY ASHAMED AND WILL LISTEN TO STRANGER IN THE ALPS ON REPEAT AS PUNISHMENT (punisher reference) (real review below) 

    •The production design? Amazing!
    •The cast! Brilliant!
    •The audience in my cinema! Not the best!
    •The soundtrack? Half great!
    •The jokes? Three quarters great!
    •Greta Gerwig’s directing? Ten tenths great! 
    •Fraction jokes in reviews? Not funny!
    •Self referential jokes in…

  • Oldboy

    Oldboy

    ★★★★½

    I’d say he’s more of a middle aged boy but whatever

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