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Mickey 17 2025
There are not enough words for how fucking awful this was. Knew within a second of hearing the voiceover that it was going to be a stinker and boy was I right. Such an incompetent and lifeless adaption of such a brilliant book. A great example of what George R.R. Martin was talking about when lambasting incompetent screenwriters who think in adapting books that they can change things left and right. None of the original material that Bong added to…
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Gettin' Square 2003
Pretty forgettably generic plot and a giant affirmation of my belief in Sam Worthington as one of Australia’s worst acting exports, but hooooooly shit was David Wenham great as the junkie Johnny Spit. Might be some of my favourite character work in Aussie cinema. I’m extremely on board for Johnny Spit being the protagonist of his own film as is the case in the upcoming ‘Spit’.
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The Substance 2024
Have lost tragic amounts of respect for the people I know that liked this. This was ugly, boring and myopic garbage with the depth of a fucking Petri dish, never mind a puddle. With the amount of substance (🙄🤕🤮 I know but I had to) this script had, there was enough gas in the tank for maybe, maybe a ten minute short film, but definitely not a feature. There were no characters to care about, there was in fact nothing at all…
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Saltburn 2023
The half star is for the cinematographer’s hard work. In all other respects WHAT A GIANT FUCKING TURKEY. Everyone involved should be embarrassed. Boring, trite, condescending when it need not be because everything was obvious as all fuck, painfully self satisfied with its imagined provocativeness despite possessing about as much edge as an antique teaspoon and just embarrassingly contrived. What a fucking garbage script. Nobody who’s name is fucking Emerald Fennell has any business trying to comment on class. Absolute…
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