That’s what I’m talking about

Veterans Day classic

As soon... as soon as I recognized his rehearsed pensive stuttering (immediately) I put my emotional guard up hard. I did find morbid curiosity in watching the unabashed celebrity worship and general validation being doled out to these eager nyc hot ticket holders. I would’ve relished the opportunity to do a big fuck-you slow clap when he came to my seat and said “you are... a cynic”. Or maybe I needed that experience of him saying it to my face to confuse me enough to enjoy this

Don’t tell me to silence my phone in my own apartment

Reads like a Wikipedia page with emojis or what a book on tape looked like to me as a kid. Absolutely stunning