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The Substance 2024
Half a point off for implying: 1) that anyone hot & under 30 in America is named Sue; and 2) that you can show the visible outline of someone's literal butthole on American daytime TV.
JK, the half-point is off for being slightly heavy handed with the symbolism. But what a DELIGHT. I was staring up at the screen, mouth open, tapping my tented fingers Mr.Burns-style thinking "Oh, that is DISGUSTING :DDD". Honestly, the hardest parts to watch were those that…
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The Haunting 1999
I just found out Ebert gave this 3 stars out of 4... My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
It's only keeping a full star because of the sets, and because I pity the cast who are trying their goddamn best here.Translated from by
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The Tale of the Bunny Picnic 1986
Puppets good. So much yelling at dog puppet bad :((((
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The Bling Ring 2013
I had no idea you could make pill-popping teens robbing celebrities so incredibly, painfully boring. I only didn't walk out because I was on a date.
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