i gotta die just to meet jesus??
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Miami Vice 2006
above anything else, i'm just really appreciative this movie exists. there's a lot of ways to start a discussion on michael mann's miami vice, but perhaps the one thing that looms over this whole project is a general confoundment that this exists. mann was given 135 million dollars to shoot a reimagining of what may still be his most famous project- the sleek 'MTV cops' show version of miami vice- but tackles the project with the thesis of using relatively…
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Super 8 2011
crazy to think we let jj get away with this, but it's easy to forget that in 2011 it was still legal to cut off another man's skin and wear it as a fleshy flappy skin suit when you direct a movie. sorry mr. spielberg. it's funny that this is just et but jam packed with dead moms and abusive dads and an obligatory love interest and modern warfare 2 cutscenes to keep things exciting and it doesn't bother building…
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Resurrection 1999
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
why is this called resurrection? the villain's plan is seemingly to build a statue of jesus out of human bodies. that's it. there's no philosophy, no motive, no intrigue, just occasional gestures towards the general aesthetic of a biblical serial killer. he's basically evil damien hirst (if you don't already consider damien hirst evil). you seriously never learn anything meaningful about the guy's worldview. he's just a crazy guy who collects limbs. "what if a guy was evil?" isn't a movie premise, but no one told osgood perkins that last year and he made tons of money off it so
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Furry Vengeance 2010
brendan fraser screams "it won't stop cumming" while a bear cums all over his face in this movie
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