Literally one of the worst movies I've ever seen.
So competently filmed, gorgeous often, but saddled with an incomprehensible plot, terrible writing, goofy acting, and the absolute WORST editing I've ever witnessed. A visual feast full of empty calories.
It is not "so bad it's good." It is just so bad. Abysmally bad. So unbelievably bad.
None of it makes sense. Nothing is earned. It does not reward you for your time and attention. I hated it.
Five minutes in: "These characters are insufferable. I'm not sure I can watch this."
Thirty minutes in: "These characters are insufferable. I can't look away."
"You did all this to play soccer?"
"I told you this was important to me!"
At one point, a character describes Michael Myers as "Inhumanly patient," which is what makes him such an exceptional slasher villain. For most of the film he's lingering in the background, stalking, waiting just out of John Carpenter's wandering frame. He could appear or disappear at any point, and he often does. That along with Carpenter's iconic score are enough to make sure you never leave the edge of your seat.
