Talk about a trip down memory lane! Babygirl was a smorgasbord of cinematic parallels (and bodily fluids). I remember my first fingering like it was yesterday. It was a hot summer’s day in 1964. The Leader of the Pack by The Shangri-las was wafting along the airwaves and along Chepstow high street. To shelter from the sun, me and Glen Preme snuck down a back passageway, and — when we finally had a moment of privacy — the seminal fingering…
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Songs of Praise and Remembrance 1999
If there’s anything I’m all over like a genital rash, it’s organised religion! And if there‘s anything I’m all over like a moustache, it’s glen’s facial hair on the eve of our anniversary. Admittedly this was more of a soundtrack to an intense lap dance, but the man has more wood than Noah’s Arc when Sing, Hosannah hits the decks!
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Fifty Shades of Grey 2015
People have tried to pin down the formula for a masterpiece, but so far all attempts have failed. Cue Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s like they bludgeoned out all the worst bits of Twilight and used the remains to make something even better. The strongest themes of Stephenie Baeyer's masterpiece are resonated here - the misogyny, superficiality and total lack of storyline amount to what can only be the greatest film since Transformers 4. One thing I don't want to…
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Spirited Away 2001
All i can say about this film is how jaw-droppingly bad it was, like what was with the little girl, can she not? the only good thing about it was the really fat black ugly thing that eats everybody was really easy to relate to. I mean we've all been there right?!
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