Favorite films

Recent reviews

• 

  Haunted Mansion 2023

  ★★½ Watched 28 Jul 2023

  My doctor: “Your heart’s going nuts. Are you watching haunted mansion?”
  Me: “I’m jacking off”

• 

  Barbie 2023

  ★★★★½ Watched 21 Jul 2023

  That’s right girls, start packing on those pounds because the only doll that poops, then lies about it doesn’t have farts in her head anymore.

Popular reviews

• 

  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem 2023

  ★★★★ Watched 12 Jun 2023

  Splinter: “Mutants are to Superfly what turtles are to me. ‘Cause I’m the rat dad.”

• 

  Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny 2023

  ★★★½ Watched 18 May 2023

  Saw this at Cannes Film Festival and they gave out 50 of these gift bags with stanzo brand fedoras in ‘em. They stink.