writes about film/tv (The A.V. Club, Paste, DoomRocket, etc.) reads lots (and lots) of comics.
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Sherlock Holmes 2009
whiskey bro-ass version of Holmes and Watson, right down to the fight club sequence, slow-down/ramp-up action editing, metro Victorian-via-John Varvatos costuming, and peacocking post-Iron Man performance from Downey, whose broom-up-the-bum posture all but murders Holmes's whole "master of disguise" schtick (though I will admit I was fooled by his first act of subterfuge). I'm torn about the production design; it resembles a budget-boosted version of what the Hughes Brothers were aiming for in From Hell, but it's crushed by the…
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Mickey 17 2025
Pattinson salvages this with his dipshit dual role (I love how 18 sometimes veered into maniac Batman territory, and I adored 17's hapless squish-voice), but I'm sorry to report that I found this pretty empty and clunky even by generic sci-fi standards. either my brain couldn't process the laffs or the unsubtlety and lack of intellectual curiosity left me grumpy — either way, it was a bad time at the movies for Jonesy. heady concepts like death ("What's it like…
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Transformers: Age of Extinction 2014
(screened via IMAX 3D at Regal Cinemas, Chicago)
There’s a moment in Michael Bay’s Transformers: Age Of Extinction where two of our protagonists follow an elderly property owner through a decrepit theater house—the dust and desolation suggests it was abandoned around when CinemaScope became a thing—and we’re listening to the codger cluck over the state of contemporary cinema. “Nothing but reboots, sequels and remakes… nothing but crap,” he sniffs, nodding towards a poster for Howard Hawks’ El Dorado, the 1966…
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The Monkey 2025
as a series of punchline kills with miserable setups (that is, when Perkins bothers to include setups; his Rube Goldberg approach to the material is incredibly lazy), it's obnoxious, more than any let-'er-rip horror comedy should legally be. in short, a perfect night at the movies for the equally obnoxious Chicago horror hounds who attended my Music Box screening, particularly the jerk in Jurassic Park sneakers next to me who kept bark-laughing at all the WiLd kiLLz onscreen and going,…
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