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Final Destination 2 2003
Faster pacing helps make FD2 an easy watch, but it has all the same problems as the first and more. The deaths stop feeling horrific, and quickly become boring as the characters stop caring about them. There are better character moments, but again the relationships are heartless. And apparently the only way to cheat death is to die and be revived! If Death can contrive for a wired fence to fly towards a man at the speed of a rocket…
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Final Destination 2000
Don’t let the horridly stale cover turn you off as I did. Final Destination is a bold slasher that dares to cut out the masked middle man, thus removing the typical contrived, teleporting, superhuman assailant. A refreshing choice to be sure, but look beneath the surface, and you’ll quickly realize the film does little more than make the subtextual statements found in Halloween (and basically every other 80’s slasher) more overt. Death as an invisible, intangible, voiceless, deity, is a…
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The Lego Movie 2014
This movie is awful. There is nothing redeeming about it. For starters why do all the people look so weird, they have square shaped legs but round heads and arms, and what’s up with Emmet's hair? It sticks out weirdly on the top. This breaks the laws of physics, clearly an attack on the American education system.
Ok but if we are being serious, the plot of this movie is just bad, it’s clearly supposed to be a commentary on…Translated from by -
Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody 2011
Shaggy: Pulls his junk out.
Velma: Jinkies!
Me: I hate myself and want to die.
Kurt Cobain: 🪦
What is wrong with me?
*sigh* Everything Scooby Doo means everything Scooby Doo.
The Scooby Doo Porn Parody contains roughly a half hour of perverse satire, broken up in between lengthy vanilla sex scenes that aren’t quite arousing nor are they repulsive. I was able to cut my watch time down significantly, as these large chunks have little to no dialogue, and are without…
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