I've said this elsewhere, but I am recording it here for posterity: in both Branagh's Cinderella and Branagh's Murder on the Orient Express, there's a repeated line about seeing the world not as it is, but as it should be, which is not in either's source material. This likely means nothing, except that I really think Kenneth Branagh has an adaptation of Don Quixote burning deep down inside of him which I would like to see him do instead of whatever the hell else he IS doing right now.
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O'Dessa 2025
I feel like I should not fuck with this, but I absolutely fuck with this. Must a movie be "good"? Is it not enough for it to have a magic guitar and a lot of extraneous neon and to spell "plazma" with a Z? Is it not enough for the protagonist to dramatically put on black lipstick before her climactic performance?
I feel like if I had, at the age of 15, been really into Styx's Kilroy Was Here, this…
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Mafia Mamma 2023
Truly a masterpiece of the "middle-aged woman gets her groove back" comedy genre. We seem to get one every year (The Lost City, Barb and Star, etc.) that's actually good and I always appreciate it.
There's a scene where Monica Bellucci homoerotically straddles Toni Collette under a beautiful vine-covered pergola while they pass the same glass of wine back and forth, so idk what you philistines are complaining about with your one-star ratings.
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A Midsummer Night's Dream 1999
me, through this entire movie: what are the bikes about??? why does this adaptation care so much about the bicycles??? what is he trying to say?
me, after the end credits: I Have Decided That The Bicycles Were a Metaphor for Virginity, Thank You
also you get to see Anna Friel, Calista Flockhart, Dominic West, and Christian Bale mud-wrestle. and that's worth $3.99 to rent on amazon, IMO
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