cinematically illiterate but trying my best
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At Eternity's Gate 2018
existence can't be without reason
this film is simply gorgeous. a striking mosaic of color, an ode to the beauty of a brother's bond, the bottomless tragedy of the leading individual of the 'tortured artist' trope.
the visuals in this are simply stunning (i was so ill at the time i watched this that i literally needed to google 'bro did they simulate ocular degeneration or color blindness/blurring in this movie or am i losing my mind' - it was…
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Ghosted 2023
this movie asks the question “if we put a bunch of the most attractive actors alive in a movie with a chat gpt script, will it be good?” and the answer is a resounding “no.”
shout out to the Chinese dude in front of me on my flight to Qingdao for streaming a weird rip of this off his phone (sound on, no headphones) with English subtitles I guess?
only reason this isn’t a half star is because Ana is Ana, so maybe I am a part of the problem but thank U xo
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The Road to El Dorado 2000
"yeah alex i'll take 'childhood sexual awakenings' for 500"
(dreamworks had no business designing chel like that, hello?)
this might be the gayest movie i've ever seen; also somehow hornier than shrek??
(couch-bound fever dream movie 2/n)
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The Inbetweeners Movie 2011
it's gotta be called the inbetweeners because my head was inbetween my hands for approximately 45% of the movie holy shit the amount i winced every time jay even thought about opening his mouth
had me chained to the couch watching this with my eyes pried open with the ludovico apparatus from a clockwork orange (i cannot lose another bet to luke)
feeling like i'm slowly understanding why the english are the americans of europe
(does one wince because it…
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