Jordan Perez

Jordan Perez

“These are not hash brownies… now put your clothes back on white boy!”

Favorite films

  • Shaun of the Dead
  • EuroTrip
  • Mystery Men
  • Evil Dead

Recent activity

All
  • The Assessment

    ★★★

  • Ash

    ★★

  • Opus

    ★★★★

  • Magazine Dreams

    ★★★

Recent reviews

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  • The Assessment

    The Assessment

    ★★★

    This makes me not want to have kids!! The way I was so annoyed most of the time because of this woman acting like a child. Elizabeth was great in this film, she really sold me when she delivered the line, “you fucked her?” I thought this was filmed perfectly but again the script kinda fell short in the end. I found myself dozing off at the ending right before she k**** herself💀

  • Ash

    Ash

    ★★

    The only thing I liked about this was how colorful and trippy this was. If I hadn’t gone into this high I probably would’ve walked out.
    The main girl gave a good performance but it’s hard when the script makes no sense at all. I don’t know if this is based off a video game or a comic but it just felt very over saturated. I did enjoy the eerie feeling you get but was more confused than the girl with amnesia.

Popular reviews

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  • Better Man

    Better Man

    ★★★★

    This isn’t Planet of the Apes!

    Another biopic of an artist I do not know. I enjoyed this rockstar story of drugs, liquor, and partying. The musical numbers were very big and done well enough that a person like me who’s never heard of this 80’s boyband was bopping along the whole movie! I liked how it was Rated R but you also see the poor lil ape go through some shit and can’t help but feel bad for Robbie Williams.

  • Memoir of a Snail

    Memoir of a Snail

    ★★½

    While I’m a sucker for a claymation movie. I think this one just really dragged and was depressing at times. The story revolving around this girl who loses her parents and then her brother at a young age and grows up lonely longing for her brother to come back. Which he does but to is a goth fire eating wack job

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