You know, there is a certain novelty to watching a movie that’s set just fifteen miles from where you live. That makes me all the more saddened to report that Holland is an undercooked mess. Everything about this script is strange. Nicole Kidman tries her best as a very eccentric wife investigating her husband’s potential infidelity. The other characters act so bizarrely that I was expecting this to have a big reveal akin to The Stepford Wives or Don’t Worry…
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The Vanishing 1988
A haunting exploration of loneliness, confusion, and uncertainty. This movie left me panicked as I imagined how I’d feel in the shoes of its protagonist. The disappearance of a loved one without explanation must be mortifying. Even years later, the lack of closure has to be crippling. Our imaginations are far more terrifying than most of we can actually witness or learn, and The Vanishing understands that. Even when it does reveal things, however, the terror remains present. There are…
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Snow White 2025
Disney’s live action remake curse continues. Snow White may not be as awful as the masses were expecting, but it’s still a misshapen, half-baked cash-in. To get the positives out of the way, Rachel Zegler can sing. We all knew that. I still think she’s miscast, but some of the songs are decent. The dwarves aren’t always the uncanny valley nightmare fuel I was expecting. In fact, they (specifically Dopey) bring a cheerful fun to an otherwise vapid, self-serious rendition…
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Borderlands 2024
Disastrous on pretty much every level. This movie wants to be Guardians of the Galaxy so bad, but I didn’t fall in love with this group of misfits one bit. A vast majority of the jokes fall flat on their face. It lacks the gritty violence of the video game series solely because the studio wanted a PG-13 rating for mass appeal. That’s the unfortunate part: there is no appeal whatsoever. Aside from a few easter eggs and nods, there’s…
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