Bar Standards Board: QC Colin Firth you stand charged with common assault in public of Hugh Grant - how do you plea?
QC Colin Firth: Your honour I would like to claim self-defence that I was worried the horny shit was attracted by my seductive British accent and coming on to me. This is clearly exhibited by the fact his first words to my witness Ms Zellweger (I might add after being brutally smashed by me through a glass window to the ground) were 'I love you, let's go back upstairs ;)'
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Bridget Jones's Diary 2001
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
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