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The Substance 2024
For a film taking aim at Hollywood vanity and the search for eternal youth, The Substance works best when it uses gore absurdly, thus ridiculing the very idea of bodily obsession. But it also strays into becoming a shallow object itself, littered with cinematographic references and only flirting with true character ‘Substance’ (pun intended). The film evokes pathos for Elizabeth as it begins, but this quickly dissipates in favour of camp spectacle. For a film about the perils of only…
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Winter's Tale 2014
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Winters Tale is a train wreck of a film. Here are just some of the terrible things about it that come to mind:
1. Why does Colin Farrell, a man who's lived in New York his whole life, somehow have an Irish accent?
2. Russell Crowe cannot and should not do accents. Oh wait...
3. Why does he care about killing him in the first place?
4. The CGI is distractingly ugly
5. How is the horse a dog
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