Mateo

Mateo Patron

It’s not mink, it’s Russian Sable. It’s a lot more fuckin’ expensive than mink.

Favorite films

  • La La Land
  • Marriage Story
  • When Harry Met Sally...
  • Everything Everywhere All at Once

Recent activity

All
  • Snow White

  • Black Bag

    ★★★½

  • The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie

    ★½

  • Opus

    ★★

Pinned reviews

More

Recent reviews

More
  • Snow White

    Snow White

    I’ve known Rachel Zegler was the human embodiment of a Disney Princess since I learned her name back in 2018…

    And she deserves so, so much better than this.

    Was really excited to see Gal Gadot perish tho!

  • Black Bag

    Black Bag

    ★★★½

    We gotta take closed captions for movies with people speaking in british accents out of the black bag

Popular reviews

More
  • Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    ★★½

    I’m convinced John Mulaney and Andy Sandberg did this behind Disney’s back because how did they get away with HALF the shit in this movie

  • Migration

    Migration

    ★★

    To the person next to me who excitedly went “Awkafina!” when her name showed up on screen, you need to leave the house more.