Favorite films

Recent reviews

• 

  The Longest Yard 2005

  ★★ Watched 22 Mar 2025

  Every part of this runs like 40% longer than it needs to. Homophobia and prisoner abuse both played for laughs many times. Chris Rock is a bright spot until he gets (spoiler alert) blown up in a super tonally weird sequence. Rob Schneider jump scare in the last 10 minutes.

• 

  13 Going on 30 2004

  ★★★½ Watched 22 Mar 2025

  Jennifer Garner you 🫵 are America’s Sweetheart. Why Can’t I? needle drop was atomic.

Popular reviews

• 

  The Life & Adventures of Santa Claus 2000

  ★★½ Watched 24 Dec 2020

  “I’m Ethan - the cripple!”

• 

  Secrets Beneath the Floorboards 2023

  ★★★ Watched 05 Oct 2023 2

  “That’s more excitement than I’ve had in a week!” 
  - me seeing Surfboard Dog

  Alternately:

  what zero apes does to a mf