For all that is holy, please stop pushing this movie on children! THIS IS NOT A FILM FOR YOUNG CHILDREN.

I get that the adult perspective makes this a deep and poignant film, but ffs the number of times I watched this in daycare before age 5 (and that is not a joke), and It Haunts Me.

Do not tell a tiny me that, gosh, it sucks that your friend was literally murdered by bullies but we'll make it up…

I didn't cry through most of this.

Oh, no, that was actually the zombies who were in the theatre with us, who all cheerfully got up and left as soon as the credits started to roll as though their lives weren't fundamentally altered. (Yes, cheerful zombies)

Beautiful and moving. Our cats mostly don't shut up for meaningful periods of time (which becomes quite annoying) so it says something that I can escape them for 84 minutes and still find another…

Home Alone has a centering role in the best moments of my childhood holidays. I like to think it would have been the same on any timeline, but for this K.4869615 timeline, it was the backdrop to Christmases in my favorite place on the planet (our cabin), with my dad and aunt & uncle milling around, and with my cousins (older and younger) who were the highlight of my young life. In those moments, I felt complete, like something of a…