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roger ebert if he was woke
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Dragonball Evolution 2009
As bad as everyone says it is, if not worse. Just a terrible, terrible movie. It doesn’t work as an adaptation OR as an original story.
I really don’t get what they were thinking when they made this- it’s a very bad attempt at adapting the Demon King Piccolo arc but also, for whatever reason, decided to add elements from the very first arc. But even then they managed to fuck that up, with Goku being aged up and being…
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Dragon Ball Z: Dead Zone 1989
You can definitely tell this is very, very early stages in Z because it references the original series a lot more than some of the later films and arcs, and the story feels a lot like original Dragon Ball. Also super fun to see adult Goku use the power-pole.
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Better Man 2024
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
“Hell is gone and heaven’s here.”
My original plan for this was to write a more comedic review, something along the lines of this being about the chimp (Gordy) from Nope. But this film got to me, like, emotionally. I really don’t know what it was about it, but it really was something special. The musical numbers were fantastic, especially the one where Robbie and Nicole Appleton meet on the boat. Not ashamed of the fact I cried multiple times during this, it’s just that good. The best musician biopic, no competition whatsoever.
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Five Nights at Freddy's 2023
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Man. I WANTED THIS TO BE GOOD. I WANTED TO LIKE IT.
There are pros, I liked somethings in the film, but the cons out-weigh the pros tenfold.
Pros:
• Set design
• Acting in most scenes
• Costume design (especially for the animatronics)
• Matthew Lillard
• Matpat cameo
• The Living Tombstone song for the credits
• Coryxkenshin cameo
• Music was good in some scenes
• The entire sequence of the animatronics killing the people who broke…Translated from by
