one half teen drama movie awkwardly smashed into a pile of awful cgi fantasy set pieces. actually it's more like a collection of teen drama scenarios loosely stitched together around the basic good vs evil fantasy plot - nothing the characters do or say to each other feels like it follows from the scenes that happened before. it's like the writers had a list of scenario prompts for a bar, thieves guild, character banter etc and they were just rolling…
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The Adventures of Pluto Nash 2002
90s-00s comedy and scifi slop at its most refined. absolutely nothing happens in this film. if you're having a bad movie night with friends and you watch this at 2x speed it's a great palate cleanser, but only if you watch at 2x.
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Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood 2009
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
this is one of those series i keep being reminded of now and again because it draws lasting acclaim from people in my orbit of progressive queers that really mystifies me, heaping praise upon FMAB and its creator for her feminist progressivism that i think is really undeserved.
to be sure, there are plenty of powerful women in FMAB who aren't degraded in any way by either the characters or the plot and that's nice enough to see in itself,…
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Everything Everywhere All at Once 2022
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
this is basically Turning Red filtered through live-action Rick and Morty, so the plot sucks equally as much but it replaces the vibrant stylized 3D environments with ugly Reddit-tier lolrandom visual gags.
i am an asian person with an abusive asian parent. it's popular currently to portray pushback against EEAAO as if it's suddenly coming out of nowhere purely from film majors trying to be hipster or it's because white people don't get asian families. but the fact that these…
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