“Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club?”
Favorite films
Recent activity
AllRecent reviews
MorePopular reviews
More-
Dune: Part Two 2024
I have to time to review this movie now but first let’s talk about this poop! I honestly deserve the medal of valor and a Purple Heart for making it home without shitting my pants. Have you ever had to take shallow Lamaze-like breaths to keep peace? Ever have to drive SLOWER because each bump leaves a lasting signature on your colon? Ever yell at a measly pedestrian to walk faster because the volcanic chocolate lava cake boiling inside is…
Translated from by -
Lady Bird 2017
I’m forcing a shit to review this one.
Quite quite good. Put it on to eat time and whaddya know, it was a banger
I imagine that’s how timothee chalamet is in real life. Just a snobby anorexic teenager who does keep track of his sexual escapades. This movie solidifies my hatred not only for him but also the Catholic Church. Eat a burger and stop touching kids.
This review is for my friends. Consider it private. If you get offended Venmo request me at @derekbeavers2
Translated from by
