Pattinson does a great job, but his moody, scowling Bruce Wayne can't help but remind the viewer of his turn in Twilight, as much as Robby wants to forget that happened. Somehow, my brain got to the point of imagining Adam West playing Edward Cullen in the style of the 1960s Batman show, and I can't decide if that would be utterly brilliant or the absolute death of culture in all its forms. Sadly, we'll never know.

The film is…

When the same thing happens in the US in the near future, I hope the equivalent of Mikoyan, played by Paul Whitehouse, gets the job. Willing to bet that My Little Edgelord, the hyper-free speech advocate banning opposing voices at will, the guy calling for the overthrow of democratically-elected governments, the COVID denier, the head of multiple companies where allegations of racism and sexism are rampant, the transphobic "pronouns suck" espouser, the bloke that called a cave diver "pedo guy"…

I have a feeling I might have given this a higher score if I didn't dislike Bradley Cooper as much as I do. Dude thinks he's an auteur. You produced Joker, bro; you ain't him, you were never him, you never will be him. I accept I might have baffling unresolved issues re: the Coop.

The film is a bit of a mess, despite the attempts to make it look like a finely-honed vision of unbridled genius. Yes, I'm overdoing…