This is by far, the stupidest movie I have ever seen in my life.

I loved every minute of it.

This is what I want from movies like The Meg and Jurassic World 2.

A stupid movie was advertised.

I ordered a stupid movie.

I got the dumbest movie of all time.

Now this is five-star Soapland treatment. Fun times.

The best movie I have ever seen. I so regret not seeing this in a theater. I thought it would just be standard summer movie trash.

I was so wrong and I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong.

This is a monumental step for stupid movies everywhere. I hope and pray that this movie's success brings back tons of truly dumb B movies again.

Please Hollywood. Make dumb b movies again.

Because this is what I love in film. I like a lot of different kinds of films. I like weird shit. I like wild shit. I like sexy shit. I like serious shit. I like simple shit.

But I love dumb shit.

This movie is a moon-landing level of achievement in bad cinema. Roger Corman is nodding in approval from the afterlife. Ed Wood is clapping and cheering.

Wannabe Ed Wood films like Birdemic, Cocaine Bear and The Room can never hope to aspire to kiss this film's ass. Those films aren't truly bad, they're just lazy. They're not people trying to make good movies that go horribly wrong. They're people who don't put the effort into making a movie and end up with boring barely watchable slop. And they advertise it as 'B cinema' to get views. But it's just boring. It's not bad = fun. It's bad = lazy.

THIS MOVIE IS BAD FUN. They went all-out, they tried their best, everybody is putting in a ton of effort and it's all-bad. But it's great bad. It's wonderful bad. It's amazing bad.

I could not imagine a dumber movie if I tried.

It actually got dumber every minute.

There's a scene in this movie where a little girl hallucinates and starts drawing out Earthquake seismographs that predict Kong has a tooth-ache. And that's before shit gets epically stupid.

This movie is absolute peak moron.

Neil Breen will never be able to touch something on this level.

The true era of B cinema has returned. Not ironic B cinema. Not this 'wannabe' B cinema that's okay to laugh at. Where it's mostly just badly delivered lines in boring cheap films with bad cinematography. Not hipster B cinema.

True B cinema has returned.

Finally. And it's about goddamn time.

Masterpiece.

20 years from now it will be hanging beside Artemisia Gentileschi in the Louvre.

Fuck yeah!