Favorite films

Recent reviews

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  Fifty Shades Freed 2018

  ★ Watched 30 Oct 2024

  Words cannot describe how betrayed I felt when I saw the movie poster and thought we were going to get some kind of dominatrix action and the movie failed to deliver.
  Unfortunately, this movie gave me nothing. I felt only two things during the runtime: happy when she parallel parked correctly, and fear when I thought the ice cream was going into the vag (holy yeast infection).
  The sex was boring, the plot was boring, and it wasn't really funny. It didn't have the charm of the first or the courage of the second. And no, we don't get to see his dick.

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  Fifty Shades Darker 2017

  ★½ Watched 15 Oct 2024

  What this one lacks in awkward BDSM it makes up for in crazy plot.
  This movie goes where the first was scared to: discussing sexual assault (indelicately and weirdly, of course). Also they finally show that man's ass!
  The boat and the helicopter officially get old.
  Less interesting simply because it's less funny and actually has plot, but that plot really is something.

Popular reviews

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  Sansho the Bailiff 1954

  ★★ Watched 06 Sep 2024

  Eh. Not a bad movie, just truly wasn't for me.
  The movie is beautiful and the direction was good, but for me this didn't make up for the way the plot was portrayed. Part of it is I have a personal pet peeve for intense violence against women being used in passing as a plot device, and there's quite a bit of that in this movie. The soundtrack didn't quite do it for me either. The plot throughout most of…

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  Die Hard 1988

  ★★★★ Watched 31 Dec 2024

  WOAAH HE STNORTED COKE AND THEN HE DRANK COKE LEGENDARY CALLBACK

  Top 20 best movies for crazy-eyed German mercenaries. Top 15 worst movies for human feet. Top 10 silly action movies to watch if you're feeling like a silly action movie!
  There are plenty of opportunities to yell "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THERE" at your screen, which is pretty fun. Also absolutely full of Christmas cheer. And Alan Rickman is in it!
  Sometimes the pacing feels a little off…