Tale as old as time
True as it can be
A film of providence
Where some lady bends
Unexpectedly
Robert Eggers tells a story unlike any he’s ever told before: horrible folklore come to reality, over-cooked expressions about the sins of sexuality, shot mostly in monotone unbroken scenes, propped up by a Willem Dafoe performance………………………
This movie is passable. Part classic monster movie, part Exorcist, part modern horror; but no part outperformed the source material from which it draws. The…
We open on the birth of a strange and wonderful girl… beset by classist and colourist expectations, she soon learns that the world she lives in isn’t broken, it’s working exactly as intended…and what’s this hiding under the title card? Is that “part I” in 10pt font? Is this movie over 2 hours? Oh no.
Alphabet and Glendale - a powerful sorceress and a nepo baby - attend a school full of sycophants and mysterious authority figures who look into…
The gang’s all back! Even the dead ones!
Old man McMilitary and Sigourney dream (tree) Weaver reprise(?) their roles in the most age-dysphoric performances of the 21st century.
Jake and his “squad” of bro children make sure to keep all of the capable women-folk off to the side so they can continuously make poor decisions. Old man McMilitary also regularly loses multi-million dollar soldiers and vehicles by blundering his way towards success(?). MANY subplots and characters are introduced, only for explosions…
