Noel

Noel

Favorite films

  • Scream
  • Inception
  • Annihilation
  • The Truman Show

Recent activity

All
  • Snow White

  • Wicked

    ★★★★½

  • Don't Breathe

    ★★★½

  • Nickel Boys

    ★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Snow White

    Snow White

    In an effort to offend nobody, Disney managed to offend everyone. A CGI hellscape, a movie where every actor thought they were in something different, something just so beyond exhausting.

    Rachel is the only one who treated that bare bones script earnestly and she really shouldn't have. She spent the whole movie acting opposite either her nemesis, a 40-year-old-looking man, or literally nothing. And she's the only one who can sing without a ton of help. Gal Gadot turns in one of the funniest performances I've ever seen.

  • Wicked

    Wicked

    ★★★★½

    Jesus fucking christ. I mean I know I watched it high tonight but fuck, chills every time. I can deal with some dimly lit segments.

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  • The Monkey

    The Monkey

    ★★★½

    BONKERS!

    Would have better with deeper dialogue and more practical effects.

  • Gladiator II

    Gladiator II

    No, seriously give me a fucking break. Not a single moment landed or was even allowed to breath. Everything felt like it was shot from a great distance both literally and emotionally. Characters' logic and motivations were kept deliberately obtuse, and not in a fun or shocking way. Besides Denzel Washington and that one slow-mo shot of the arrow firing (the one we didn't see impact) Gladiator II was like one long TV episode. Dune 2 had better colosseum scenes in a movie not even about that. Ridley Scott needs to retire.