noisebarn

noisebarn

Favorite films

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  • The Toxic Avenger

    ★★½

  • In the Lost Lands

    ★★

  • Cleaner

    ★★★½

  • Mickey 17

    ★★

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  • The Toxic Avenger

    The Toxic Avenger

    ★★½

    I don’t give a fuck that they got a little person to play Toxie what I fucking hate is that they gave him a feelings makeover and turned him into a single dad because unresolved daddy issues are the only thing hipsters can relate to.

  • In the Lost Lands

    In the Lost Lands

    ★★

    If you asked ChatGPT to combine The Last Of Us and a Rammstein music video, this is what you’d get.

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  • Red One

    Red One

    ½

    So shit it should be called Brown One.

  • Nosferatu

    Nosferatu

    ½

    Overwrought and boring as hell. The vampire is a Marvel-level generic baddie masquerading as a crust-punk immortal prone to temper tantrums who has Vampire Internet with a woman who of course saves the day. The Eggers monologues are preposterously written and acted with smug actorly bombast (I see you, DaFoe). It’s actually worse than Nosferatu In Venice, which you should definitely watch if you’ve not seen it.

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