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The Toxic Avenger 2023
I don’t give a fuck that they got a little person to play Toxie what I fucking hate is that they gave him a feelings makeover and turned him into a single dad because unresolved daddy issues are the only thing hipsters can relate to.
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In the Lost Lands 2025
If you asked ChatGPT to combine The Last Of Us and a Rammstein music video, this is what you’d get.
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Nosferatu 2024
Overwrought and boring as hell. The vampire is a Marvel-level generic baddie masquerading as a crust-punk immortal prone to temper tantrums who has Vampire Internet with a woman who of course saves the day. The Eggers monologues are preposterously written and acted with smug actorly bombast (I see you, DaFoe). It’s actually worse than Nosferatu In Venice, which you should definitely watch if you’ve not seen it.
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