Contrary to popular belief, and my normative distribution, I actually like movies
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The Lady 2011
Behind every successful Asian woman, is a balding white man in a tie with no real job. I watched this in a Chinese class with the preface from my professor that: “this film is biased towards a pro-democracy value-set”. Unfortunately true, it also lacks much of anything else. I genuinely cannot believe my 3rd favourite French paedophile Luc Besson was behind this travesty. None of his trademark perversion, just a very by-the-numbers Nobel-Peace-Prize biopic, that feels the need to centre…
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The Ladykillers 2004
In a classic tale straight out of Ovid’s Metamorphoses; the Coen Brothers just couldn’t resist the allure of remaking the film they s̶o̶ o̶b̶v̶i̶o̶u̶s̶l̶y̶ c̶r̶i̶b̶b̶e̶d̶ a̶l̶l̶ t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ p̶l̶o̶t̶ s̶t̶r̶u̶c̶t̶u̶r̶e̶s̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ were so inspired by. And in doing so; flow too close to the sun and fell into the sea of making a shit movie. You know it’s bad when the scheißgeist can even make Roger Deakins turn a Coen brothers movie into a compilation of Breaking Bad’s Mexican segments, piss…
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Barbie 2023
This is what it's like to be a dude, a chap, a lad, a fella, the sort of guy that sees Bill Clinton in a Drive (2011) starring Ryan Gosling jacket and thinks; "that's me". The kind of bloke to see all the deep themes the directress pours from her heart into this picture, and walk-away with; "I need to buy a sword". That's the unstoppable force of male-pattern autism.
Gerwig single-handedly selling me on switching my major to gender…Translated from by -
Parasite 2019
Anyone can hate the rich, but do you have the courage to hate the poor? Truly the film of Fine-Gael-cels world wide. Land-chads being the last brick in the wall against the tide of unwashed masses of rentoids, ready to flood our fair republic; the varadkareich. Aside from the fact this gives me big Squid-Games and Oldboy vibes, I can't really add anything else, just an amazingly solid feature. And other than the obligatory; I actually watched this before it won the Oscar.
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