This movie is wasted potential incarnate. Every slightly interesting thing this movie has is buried under the worst script ever brought to Hollywood. There is a single decent scene in the whole movie which, because the rest of the movie is utterly worthless in comparison, has tricked a lot of people into thinking this movie is actually decent. That could not be more wrong. Not a single line in this movie was written with any kind of care nor delivered…
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The Thing 1982
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
A masterpiece of horror and suspense. John Carpenter was cooking on this one and it's an actual tragedy people didn't care for this at the time. While the writing is a little basic, it's so effective in what it's trying to do. Every character feels distinct and just off kilter enough to constantly keep you paranoid the entire time. Would highly recommend if you're even the slightest fan of horror. Then again, if you are, you've probably already seen this movie and love it like I do.
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Spectre 2015
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Boring, bland, and utterly forgettable. Spectre itself is the by far the biggest problem with this movie. Once they really start showing up and expositing that they're behind all of his pains and hardships, the movie just becomes laughably stupid. The first act is pretty solid though with some cool action.
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Foodfight! 2012
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Abominably ugly and utterly deranged. So terrible it was probably created as part of a CIA enhanced interrogation program. Needs to be seen to be believed, but even then watching this is like staring down and eldritch god; you will either go completely insane or finally understand the true meaning of the universe. Where do I fall on that spectrum? I'm not sure, but I can firmly say I have never been the same since watching this movie.
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