Favorite films

Recent reviews

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  The Substance 2024

  ★ Watched 18 Nov 2024

  Stanley Kubrick would fucking hate this

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  The Cremator 1969

  ★★★★★ Watched 20 Oct 2024

  one of the great films

Popular reviews

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  Aftersun 2022

  ½ Watched 07 May 2023 1

  perhaps one of the dullest films i have ever had the misfortune of watching.

  this film is trying so hard to have some esoteric philosophical underlying message. Terrible script/ no plot
  The cinematography  was rhe only thing that kept me in the cinema
  posing to be profound

  i’d rather watch my own VHS tapes from Turkey
  half’a star for pure pity

  In this three hours you could watch breathless twice. Think about that.

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  Napoleon 2023

  ★★½ Watched 18 Dec 2023

  "Viva la France!" read in a painfully American accent. At first I thought Joaquin Phoenix was poorly cast however he is vegan and doesn’t wear any animal products, which meant that he couldn't wear a Napoleonic wool felt Bicorne but instead a vegan alternative headpiece constructed from tree bark originating in Uganda had to be sourced (Viva la embodied énergie). So it turns out he is really a bit of a spoiled bitch too.

  The great take aways of this film of course were: Always make peace with the English, Don't Invade Russia, and Resurrect Stanley Kubrick (and his unrealised Napoleon magnum opus) from the dead.