DePalma does Argento-colored giallo for the first five minutes (funny the fictional Bordello of Blood became a real film title), and the remaining 100 do neo-noir like you’ll never see again, fixed with some modern sleaze and paperback pulp. Even when there’s no killer, the camera angles itself like the eyes of one, because Jack Terry isn’t the only voyeur here. Learn to fully invest yourself in thrillers of Hitchcockian sensibilities and your blood pressure may never forgive you, but…
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Suspiria 1977
Suspiria wakes my soul up from a deep sleep, not with a splash of cold water, but with acid. If there was ever a case for witchcraft, it would be this film, and not because of the subject matter but because of the way it hypnotizes and mesmerizes you to forget everything that’s happening except for the bloody vivids and oppressing-yet-alluring atmosphere that permeates every sense. It’s a deep spell that isn’t quite so easy to come out of, but…
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How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days 2003
If the romcom doesn’t border on psychological warfare I don’t want it
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The Stuff 1985
I have woken up incredibly sick for the past two days and the doctor ordered supplementary stupid 80s horror satire. Clearly my diet has been severely lacking for the past few months… nothing The Stuff couldn’t fix. I don’t know why I would spend my time watching critically acclaimed Absolute Cinema™️ when I could watch this instead. Why have we as a society lost our sense of appreciation for absolute nonsensicalness?? I’m supposed to be writing a review on the new Dax Riggs album, but seeing as my brain is currently melting, this is what we get instead. Effects of eating too much of The Stuff..
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Nosferatu 2024
Shot almost entirely in shades of grey, blue, and yellow, effectively forsaking the primary red, only to bring it back in tones that never go beyond muted glazes; mauve flowers, and blood, so much blood, that’s so opaque in the darkness that it’s closer to black. In being a Nosferatu film directed by Eggers… it’s exactly what you think it’s going to be.
My response to mustachegate: I am pro-nosferastache.
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Go 1999
Watched on an overnight flight while sleep deprived, lights completely out, after just giving up on trying to nap. It was literally the most entertaining film experience I’ve ever had. Wtf. The layers just kept coming and coming and getting better each go-around. Woohoo. It was so good… someone should have warned me because I was NOT as hype beforehand as I should have been. At least I cured that about five minutes in. 10/10 very fun watch. Still tired but I now have a new movie to pop onto the favorites list and probably force my friends to watch.
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